Sometimes, we can stop our brightest ideas, right in their tracks with our perfectionism.  And, the more we want something, the more difficult it is to get out of the starting gate because we want it to hit the mark, right off the launching pad.  That’s the way perfectionsim can be crippling.

My theory is that we need to use all the ways in which we are wired for our greatest good.  We really don’t need to “banish” anything from our bag of emotions—maybe just move them around on the gameboard a bit. Sometimes, when its put in the right order, perfectionism serves us and everyone else.  Like when we are planning a wedding or a nice vacation or decorating the house or putting together a resume.  Those are the times when crossing the “t’s” and dotting the “i’s” and doing things with that extra bit of taste—can make a huge difference—-to everyone’s supreme satisfaction.  So, it’s not about losing that quality but using it when it’s appropriate that makes a huge difference in powerfully and peacefully achieving our intentions.

So, here is a little trick to use on yourself if you find that you are often grid-locked into the “get it right the first time syndrome”.  Try a draft.

No kidding.  Tell yourself that you are going to write a rough draft.  Something that you know you will need to tweak later.  Something that no one will see yet.  It sounds ridiculous but it works.  It takes you from “OMG, I will never get this right” to “Oh Well, I might as well wing it and see what I get.”  It unlocks something and gets you moving in the right direction.

Here’s how I learned this.

When I was at a speaker’s conference recently and felt the blank, black hole of nothingness that comes over me when I am terrified that I am going to speak for 30 minutes with a buggar, dangling from my nose—-and not be aware of it except for the strained and strange expressions on the faces of the audience—–the leader told us that even though we would be filmed the next day—-it was just going to be a run-through—a rough draft of sorts. 

The knots left my neck, the subject matter flowed back into my brain.  I was on a roll again—knowing that if I did not hit all the points I had in mind during the “run through” I could correct it for the “finale”.  There was no finale.  She tricked us into being comfortable with ourselves.  When we got to view ourselves later, it was obvious that in each case our “DRAFT” looked like we actually knew what we were doing and what we were talking about.  We learned so much that day about trusting ourselves and what we have to say.  If it is original and heart-felt, people will think your DRAFT is perfect-enough.