On the WOW-o-Meter this was huge “get” for me.  Whenever that happens I feel compelled to share.

Last week, I was in LA to work, in person, (we usally work weekly over the phone) with my business coach in order to speed the process/progress of ... read more »]]> 10 inch skillet time.  Upside the head.

On the WOW-o-Meter this was huge “get” for me.  Whenever that happens I feel compelled to share.

Last week, I was in LA to work, in person, (we usally work weekly over the phone) with my business coach in order to speed the process/progress of a project I have been working on for nearly two years.  In addition to further clarifying the big idea, there are all kinds of moving parts which have to fall into place to make things work.  It feels overwhelming sometimes.  A lot of the time, actually.

What I was hoping to get, was a plan—THE plan—action steps that would finally take me from idea to “out there”.  The 10 steps that would logically and easily lead me to each little duck in a row. 

This is where you would make the slamming on the breaks noise.  This would also be where you would stamp your foot, return to being a 5 year old and yell, ” I want what I want and I want it now!!!……and oh, by the way, “I want YOU to figure it out for me.”

Martin Luther King did not stir people into action by announcing, “I have a strategic plan!” did he? 

SO…….

See yourself like bamboo.  My very patient and brilliant and now, sainted coach let me in on this secret.  Focus on the dream and the details will create their own order.  People will come into your life as you share your dream, who will further the process in exponential ways.  I watched that very thing happen on this trip.

Bamboo has a very specific way of growing.  With the planting of only one stalk (the big idea/dream), once it takes hold underground, rather than growing just  in that one spot, it sends runners out in all directions(take action to share your passion with others).  Under ground.  For quite some time, no one can see it doing its work, day after day.  Then one day, all kinds of stalks break the surface at once.  Soon, it is obvious to everyone that the entire fence is lined with a plant, that historically, is known for its staying power and resilience.

People who get things done are on the move, planting seeds, making waves that they rest of us might not see.  They may go underground for a while, when you don’t hear from them–but the next time you do—they seemed to have moved a mountain or two.

Think like bamboo.

But lately it has made me just plain mad.  These emails promising independence are just ads…….for ... read more »]]> Seeing that in the subject line in a recent email, of course, caused me to open it right up.  Anything appealing to my “You’re not the boss of me!” streak gets my full attention every time.

But lately it has made me just plain mad.  These emails promising independence are just ads…….for motorized wheelchairs.  Still others, are for those spiffy little carts that allow you to shop with a basket on your motorized “indpendence device”.

Clearly, they have me confused with someone else.

Or, are they just confused altogether about the market they are going after?  Believe it or not, anyone over 50, might still possess the capacity to walk upright.  And, maybe to even think for themselves without drooling.

As some of you know, I have been interviewing women, approaching and over fifty, who have made the decision to be ever-evolving with their lives, who have created completely new chapters…..novels, even…..about what’s next and next and next for them and their families and friends.  They are on the move, inspired and energetic, resourceful and resilient, and ready for anything.  Their very nature screams “INDEPENDENT!”  They are fully functioning without battery packs or motorized anythings.

Sometimes a good dose of $#*&%  fires up my engines.  So, any one of you who is motivated by anger, may find these email/wheelchair ads just the stuff for the next leap off a tall building.  Shall I forward them to you?

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Summer is the time to take off from the routine of every day.  Or, at least that’s the picket fence version of life.  It’s the time of long, lazy days where the book you’ve been reading falls off your chest ... read more »]]> Even the clearest water seems opaque at great depth.  Joel Agee

Summer is the time to take off from the routine of every day.  Or, at least that’s the picket fence version of life.  It’s the time of long, lazy days where the book you’ve been reading falls off your chest and doesn’t even wake you up when it hits the floor.

Little boys get their summer buzz cut.  Lightening bugs are shown no mercy as they get collected in mason jars, with holes in the lids….so, o.k., a little mercy.  We eat watermelon and spit the seeds at targets nailed to trees.  In the south, we fan….and make ice cream….a lot.

There is nothing quite like the feeling of a cool, head-to-toe shower, after a day of play in the sun, followed by meeting up with friends and family on the porch, re-dressed in fresh, crispy clothes—for the single minded ritual of rocking away the rest of the day….as the gigantic Dreamsicle ball of sun melts into the earth just one more time.  Heaven.

Kicking back also is a great time to dive in.  Sometimes that extended inner quiet unearths the storm in your heart.  Moments beneath the surface of your soul can excavate treasures buried under the stress of carpool, rfp’s, ailing parents, and making all your ends meet. 

Sound good?  Well, let me offer a treasure or two I have discovered in the process of my own nose dive into the navel—- wonderful books that could ease you into deeper waters if you would like to snorkel your way into more of you… this summer.

THE BOOK OF AWAKENING: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have    by Mark Nepo

As the title suggests, these are thoughts on being plugged in to your own life, written so that you can open to the exact day on the calendar or let it fall open to any page—-and see the miracle of how often the subject matter seems to fit something happening to you at that very moment.

THE ART of RESILIENCE:  100 Paths to Wisdom and Strength in an Uncertain World     by Carol Orsborn

Carol offers ways to feel connected to the flow of life—even when it can seem to be interrupted on a regular basis.  Again, as she outlines the 10 stages of resilience—you can take them in random order, letting your mind float—and not miss a thing. 

“This is life’s promise to you. not that you will always get what you think you want.  But that you can become great enough to embrace it all.”  Carol Orsborn

So…..this summer, take the plunge.

A story came my way that needs sharing.  It’s about stress, being human, doing the right thing….. and……poop.

One morning, a harried young ... read more »]]> O.K. if you have been reading my blog for a while, then you know how much I love to mix the serious with the hilarious.  This is one of those times.

A story came my way that needs sharing.  It’s about stress, being human, doing the right thing….. and……poop.

One morning, a harried young woman named Carol, was out  in the dew-laden hours before dawn, walking Bruce, the family lab.  This particular day, she also had a library book in her hand to return to the local branch a few blocks from her house.  As so many of us do, she was multi-tasking, well before the sun came up.  She had all ready made school lunches complete with “love” notes tucked in the sandwich wrappers and had set the cereal and fruit out for the family breakfast.

This particular morning she was more exhausted than usual because she had spent most of the night consoling her 8 year old who had been having nightmares. Bruce was definitely the only one wiggling with enthusiasm as the light of day began to peak through the trees lining her street.

A block or so, before arrving at the library parking lot, Bruce smelled just the right tree and did his thing.  After bagging the steaming pile, Carol went on to the library—opened the drive-through return slot and threw in the book. This detour had taken more time in her usual walk with Bruce, so she jogged back.  

 Once home in back yard, as she took Bruce off his leash, she suddenly realized the library book was still clenched in her other hand.  What had she tossed into the slot at the library?  Uh Oh.

Yep.  The ugly, stinky truth.  Bleary-eyed, distracted with thoughts of the coming day’s trial she was litigating, Carol realized what she had done.  The library was three hours away from being open.  No time to run back now to see if her arm was long enough to make the switch.

Through clenched teeth and a knot in her gut the size of Cincinnati, Carol, exhausted and stressed before the first “hello” of the day, alternated between hysteria—the bad, hyper-ventillating kind and hysteria–the laugh-your-ass-off  kind.  As she dressed,  and woke the family, she felt tears of idiocy streaming down her cheeks.  Facing herself in the mirror Carol looked at a very tired person having a thought walk about all the other times in her life when she was ” too pooped to pop”.  This, of course, took on new meaning, as she realized the potential mess that pounds of returned books could cause…..as each one experienced a soft landing on top of a warm pile of Bruce-ness.

So, here’s the kicker.  Carol asked herself the $64 questions…..the ones of situational ethics we so often find ourselves asking.    “Who would ever know?”  “Why should I care?”  ”How can I take care of this when I am all ready taking care of more than I bargained for?” ”Why don’t I just forget it and let them handle it?”

She began to imagine the librarians arriving to start their day—whoever gathered the books from the return slot would be in for quite a surprise.  Would they take this as some hideously incorrect political statement?  What sentiment would be shared throughout the library that day and in the days to come as  result of this gross discovery? 

Something told Carol that even if the baggie held together after the pounding it was sure to get—-that no one would find this funny, in the least. What are the chances, that anyone would imagine this morning’s scenario?

Would you agree its safe to say, that as a culture, we don’t automatically jump to the most postive interpretation of circumstances we don’t understand?

But, after considering all the ways she could just dismiss this and carry on with her day, Carol determined that her own self-esteem would suffer if she did not clean this mess up…….in several ways. Besides, taking responsibiity was simply….the right thing to do.

The right thing to do.

The first place to start was by reframing her Drano-laden self talk into humor and compassion for herself.  She also decided to turn it into a lesson in forgiveness and compassion for her kids by sharing what she had done with them, as they ate breakfast.  The message was loud and clear.  Everyone makes mistakes. Own yours.  Never let others suffer when you can do something to make things right. Clean up whatever mess you have made.  Say you are sorry.  Then, move on.  Being human is just downright knee-slappingly funny sometimes. Shit happens.  Even Bruce howled…..with laughter.

You know it’s true.  Moments like these top the marquee at family reunions for years to come.

Even though she had a jam packed day in the courtroom, Carol, then set her Blackberry for the time the libary would open.  She wanted to call as a pre-emptive strike, alerting the staff about the gooshy pile within the pile.   

As she explained what had happened to  the real live person who answered the phone………there was nothing but silence. After nearly a full minute of non-response to her “hello, is anybody there?”….gales of laughter.  The person on the other end, turned away to share the morning’s “gift” with her co-workers—-more gales of laughter.  Carol was even thanked for “making our day!”   It could so easily have gone the other way. 

The poopie pile was retrieved, smushed but not leaking.  The day was saved, the book slot unblemished……ready to receive, once more.  

Here’s what I know for sure to be true for me.

Every experience, no matter how ridiculous it seems at the time is a renewed chance for choices.   I can choose to generate love, compassion and understanding.  I can commit to finding the opportunity for the blessing in everything that comes my way.  I can do the right thing……or not.

One year, I had a brunch.  For the invitation, I used those bacon boxes with the front flap that let’s you peek at the ... read more »]]> I love parties.  Everything about them.  The planning, the decorating,selecting the music, the menu-making, the invitation—-which is the first phase of setting the stage.  I really get into it. 

One year, I had a brunch.  For the invitation, I used those bacon boxes with the front flap that let’s you peek at the strips inside the package.  I never really understood what I was supposed to be looking for  when I raised that flap but it occurred to me that these boxes would make a great and goofy invitation. 

I removed the bacon and inserted the invitation, superimposed over a photographed background of fried eggs.   Then, these boxes were hand delivered to all the guests.  It’s hard to ignore a box of bacon in your mailbox or sitting on your desk when you get back from lunch.  Everyone came—walking through the door, laughing.  Even though,as a result of this invitation “brainstorm”,  it took almost three years to consume(don’t panic—bacon freezes forever)—it was totally worth it.  Every time, I look at a strip of bacon to this day—-it makes me smile, in spite of the grease, calories and cholesterol.

A great party has a way of sticking with you, doesn’t it?

A friend, who has attended most of my parties over the years, told me that he thought of me as being in the “transportation business”.   From the time  people get the invite—-they become transported from wherever they are to a much happier place.

For me, it’s one of the best ways to switch my own gears as well.  I have been feeling a bit blue lately—but I knew my book club was on its way to my house for an evening of girl talk and catching up—-and, oh yes, discussing our literary adventures. 

Creating and setting the table, three days in advance, definitely enabled me to pick my lip up off the floor.  I “fluffed” it up for Easter which was just around the corner—all the colors ushering in spring, bunny ears for everyone, fresh flowers floating in a little pool in the middle of the table, poofy napkins, pink candles….the whole bit.  Every time I walked past the table, it made me smile—-friends, food, laughter and fun…..on the way.  The anticipation, alone, shifted everything.

Want to shift your mood?

Here’s one quickie way to celebrate the day.  Use your heart-shaped or star-shaped cookie cutters to cut out your bread before  making toast—-then park the hearts and stars on a plate, slathered in love, butter, and jam—-soo-prise, soo-prise—everyone will leave the house smiling.  Party Hearty.

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Her inner life informs the world around her.  Most often, we call her “brilliant” but what we mistake for brilliance is actually something called alignment or congruence and that kind ... read more »]]> As an actress, there is almost no equal—her wisdom’s not so bad either. Could this be why we love Meryl Streep?   

Her inner life informs the world around her.  Most often, we call her “brilliant” but what we mistake for brilliance is actually something called alignment or congruence and that kind of clarity of mind, purpose and action is available to all of us.

“Everybody is interesting.  Everybody has something unexpected to offer. The job of life….and acting is to pull it out of each other.”

“Integrate what you truly believe into every single area of your life.  So, take your heart to work with you and ask the most and the best out of yourself and everyone else.”

“I think your self emerges more clearly over time which is one of the grandest benefits of aging”

“You can’t get spoiled if you do your own ironing.”

“We are who we’re going to be when we’re very old, and when we’re very old, we become who we were when we were 8.”

“I want to feel my life while I’m in it.”

What’s true for you?

When I was a kid, my father used to grow the most outrageous bright, red, lip-lickingly juicy tomatoes, along with vivid explosions of hydrangeas and fragrance-laden roses.  When people drove by our house, if my father was in the yard, they would stop to ask his gardening ... read more »]]> Ta-dah.  That would be…….compost.

When I was a kid, my father used to grow the most outrageous bright, red, lip-lickingly juicy tomatoes, along with vivid explosions of hydrangeas and fragrance-laden roses.  When people drove by our house, if my father was in the yard, they would stop to ask his gardening secrets.  He attributed it all the the quality of his compost, beaming as he discussed each vile thing he had tossed into that putrid goop, fenced and hidden, behind our garage.

The term “compost” was politically correct before the idea or the need for being politically correct lept into its proper place in our culture.  Think about it—compost is really just a dressed up name for a four letter word beginning in “S” and ending in “T”.  Lots and lots of it.  Take that and mix it with all kinds of other nasty, rotting  garbage: bones, yesterday’s coffee grounds, moldy bread, egg shells, buckets of ash from the fireplace, and you have the beginnings of the perfect recipe for a glorious, accelerated result.  This great muck takes tending to with patience and persistence, faith and focus, vigilant turning and sifting throughout the steaming pile to create the final payoff. 

In all those ways, compost and life have a lot in common.  No matter how deep the brown stuff you might be in—if you manage to sift through it—-there will always be some huge gift that comes to light our lives with new understandings and perspectives.  When we see what can bloom from within, regardless of our circumstances, that’s when we see how all things work together, with faith and focus, with persistence and vigilance….for good.  We begin to see through the chaos to the opportunity.  Our breakdowns can be viewed as course corrections—-even saving us from some greater disaster that we could not imagine.  Believing that everything which lands on our “pile” has its own purpose in being there, it’s own unique contribution to an eventual greater payoff is an act of pure intention.  Some people call that choice or belief….wisdom.  Others call it, optimisn. Still others call it, growing up.

What would you call it?

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A.  One

One song can spark a moment

One flower can wake a dream

One tree can start a forest

One bird can herald spring

One smile begins a friendship

One clasped hand lifts a soul

One star can guide a ship at sea

One word can frame ... read more »]]> Q.  How many people does it take to make a difference?

A.  One

One song can spark a moment

One flower can wake a dream

One tree can start a forest

One bird can herald spring

One smile begins a friendship

One clasped hand lifts a soul

One star can guide a ship at sea

One word can frame the goal

One vote can change a nation

One sunbeam lights a room

One candle wipes out darkness

One laugh will conquer gloom

One step must start each journey

One word must start a prayer

One hope will raise our spirits

One touch can show you care

One voice can speak with wisdom

One heart can know what’s true

One life can make a difference

That diference starts with you.

(unknown)