One thing about becoming aware of something.  You better be ready.  Once it hits you, you can never be unaware of whatever it was again.  That’s the risk of delving more deeply into the “why’s” of your life.

Personal reponsibility kicks in and there you are—one more thing on your teetering “to do” pile to deal with.

I found that out in the process of losing 40 pounds.  I ate when I was stressed, or happy, or tired, or lonesome—hand to mouth, automatically.  First, I had to become aware that I was even doing it—-the afternoon run to my favorite bakery became an automatic part of my day.  I even used to joke that there was a party waiting for me, in every cookie.

Then I became aware of how much I disliked dressing to cover up this roll or that bulge.  Layer on top of layer,vests and sweaters and jackets, on top of breath defying industrial strength underwear made me aware of all the effort I was making to try to shove away the awareness of the real problem. 

I had always heard that the people who lost weight and kept it off, kept a journal.  I could never figure out how writing would contribute to weight loss until I did it. 

Now I know it’s just about becoming aware.  Writing it down without fudging (no pun intended) is one of the most powerful ways to be aware of everything that goes in your mouth.   Oh my.  Once I did that for a while—-even when I tried NOT to be aware anymore and found myself with the urge to slide back into sugary unconsciousness, it was too late.  AWARE was there to stay.

I had to step up and make other changes that felt like too much work for a while.  I had to plan my meals and buy for them in advance.  I had to make a decision to cancel my ordinarily leisurely Sunday afternoons to prepare healthy food to replace the other automatic stuff that was so easy to stuff myself with, the rest of the week.  I grumbled the whole way through.  Hell’s bells.  Aware.  No Excuses.  Adulthood. It was a total pain in the ass for a while–but now, with so much less actual ass to be pained about, I get the point.

AWARE got me THERE.