You know, I ask myself that same question, nearly every day.
Knowing who I am, “in here”, no matter what is happening “out there”—has never been more important. Surrounding myself with friends, family, confidantes and advisors who are on the same path—-with a desire for a life of purpose and passion, peace and prosperity, kindness and compassion, wisdom and humor—is what I am all about these days.
To give you a complete picture of me—-I am going to come at this from two directions—
First, is The KITCHEN TABLE VERSION—–the one I would tell you if you were sitting at my house, feet up, with a cup of coffee. It’s the less polished, more hideously human report— one you would never report in a job interview or to your home owner’s association.
Afterward, if you are still awake, there will be THE RESUME VERSION, which was carefully crafted by a PR person, intent on buffing off the rough edges. Her mission was to get me lined up with anything else that might get me hired for something.
So, grab a cup ‘a Joe………………….Here goes………………….
Some people are exhausted when they hear about my long and winding life. The fact is—-so am I. Some days, still, I just have to stay in my bathrobe.
Most of my life, I have been blessed—-with a lot of energy—–and cursed, with the attention span of a gnat. An innate exuberance about life has propelled me to try anything….and almost everything that has ever caught my attention. Some people have called me courageous. Others have said I was spontaneous and still others, have said, “Oh my God, WHAT was she thinking?” They would all, be right. Some things have worked out extremely well, while others have been an abysmal failure—take my first marriage, for example.
We were great business partners. We were hideous at marriage. Our marriage and our company dissolved around the same time when we decided to close our company and “sail off into the sunset”. The problem was, he was ready to set sail somewhere else. I was completely crushed. Splat. Thud.
I tried to pick my lip up off the floor by appearing to be the great bon vivant—taking all kinds of classes—-race car driving, stand-up comedy camp, cooking school ,speech lessons, and astronaut camp. I watched whales, learned to yodel, completed a course to make balloon animals, participated in years of Bible Study classes, learned to sail, and scuba dive. Also, I tried my hand at Habitat for Humanity, and the Crisis Counseling Center, while volunteering at various hospitals around town. I went to Hong Kong multiple times, completed Outward Bound, EST, trekked many mountains with a 45 lb. pack on my back, then luxuriated at health spas around the world. I was always, relentlessly, on the go. While friends were diapering babies and driving car pool, I was planning my next dinner party or travel itinerary.
But…….I was always…..so, so, so very, very sad on the inside. Alone at home, after another grand trip.
With all I had going on, I found myself sinking. Deeper and deeper into dark bouts of emptiness. Sad and lonely. Even feeling suicidal sometimes. How did my life turn out this way? In short, I looked like the well-polished apple to the rest of the world but felt completely rotten inside.
One saving grace came when I moved to Dallas and launched a marketing/strategic planning and brand development, consulting practice. I found a renewed sense of purpose working with people who had a dream to start a new business. I was able to transfer all the pent-up desire to nurture a family into working with these clients, who became near and dear to me on so many levels. Little did I know the good things that would be in store, once I pursued something I was truly passionate about—more about that in THE RESUME VERSION.
In the meantime, I began therapy, extensive reading and journaling, more Bible study and soul searching, participating in every course or workshop that struck a chord. One day, as I was removing the moat of self-help books, surrounding my bed, I decided to put them on the bathroom scale. Just as I suspected—they had me beat by fifteen pounds.
I was committed to the Road Less Traveled, full of determination to understand whatever pot holes and speed bumps that were causing my life to feel so disconnected, fractured and lonely.
Over time, the inner critic—that nasty Blow Torch of a voice, was starting to go head to head with a new voice—–one of quiet strength and compassion that had only been the faintest whisper before. A tiny pin-prick of light was appearing at the end of my tunnel.
So………..fast forward……to now. Thank God. For NOW.
No, my life is not perfect. I have learned that “Perfect” is really fraught with paralyzing fear. I have a different kind of courage now. It is not about taking adventure trips. The trip inside has turned out to be bigger, more daunting and vast than any mountain climb.
I have found—The Real Deal—-the tools that help me feel blessed by whatever happens—good or bad. I have found the beauty in life—-in the lessons that present themselves every day—the Screams of Consciousness.
NOW, my marriage is rock solid. I am married to a man who loves me…..and his kids….and fly fishing, and his work….and his community…..warts and all. And I love him right back. We dig each other’s chili. As time goes by, we are getting this satiny patina to our lives—like a bright gold ring that gets a smooth, glowing quality, over time, but only—– with wear and tear. Some days, I am totally, completely, in love with him like it was the first day we realized we were destined to be together (symphony music here, please). Other days, The Kill Factor, as I call it—it 12.5 on a 10-point scale. That’s life. He’s a strong-willed. Energetic. Focused. Successful. He can’t help that he’s a GUY. And, as you might imagine, I have never been called—demur. So, there you have it.
Being a stepmother has been one of the most challenging and rewarding things I have ever, ever experienced. I love my newly created family. We are a unit. The evolution of our relationships over the years is a story in itself. But suffice to say—-when they send me Mother’s Day cards, I know they mean it. They have a perfectly wonderful mother, by the way. They see that I am not and never have, tried to take her place in their lives. It’s just that I bring something very different to their table. I am part of a different chapter for them and we have come to see how much we all mean to one another.
So, in spreading all the components, experiences, education, travel, mistakes and insights which compose my life—–out on the table, I felt compelled to see how all of these swirling bits could be pulled together under one umbrella to create something useful and purposeful. For even though I have come to realize that I have the head of a leader, and the spirit of an inquisitive 8 year old——my heart—-is all about being of service to others.
A business/life coach, who has been my mentor and now, friend—suggested that I tell my stories–sharing the highs and lows of my life—like the time my dream home burned down. Just like that—pffft—my husband and I lost EVERYTHING—that’s just one of many moments where I had the chance to learn more—from the depth and breadth of me— the lessons and blessings came spilling out.
DO YOU NEED A BATHROOM BREAK????
Or…… ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE????
DO YOU NEED TO PHONE A FRIEND????
I know, I know……this is ridiculously long…..but so is my life.
So, here is………………..
THE RESUME VERSION
With a degree in Business Communications from Rider University, Peggy Pepper (Wilkinson) set out to achieve her goal of making her first million before the age of 30. She hit her mark by first learning the ropes among the creative geniuses and powerhouse talents of the world renowned Ogilvy & Mather Advertising Agency(with offices around the globe). One of her account responsibilities was in the creation and development of a city—The Woodlands, Texas—which is still thriving and growing, north of Houston.
She went on to create Osborne Energy Corporation, where she developed the corporate image and the internal culture, as well as running the day to day activities of this oil and energy trading company. The company reported revenues of over $2 Billion within the first 2 years of operation.
Not only did Peggy hold board positions in a number of civic and cultural organizations, she also pursued her love of design, by creating another company to pursue interior design and renovation of homes and offices. Design Alliance was formed in 1984. More than 40 homes and offices have been completed, to date. Many of these transformations were featured in local and national publications.
The mid-80’s brought sweeping changes in career and life goals—-when Peggy divested her interests in Osborne Energy Corporation and got divorced. She launched First Concept Corporation, a consulting practice, in Dallas, Texas. She shared her secrets of launching dreams into businesses with new entrepreneurs and, for those who were all ready in business for themselves—how to transition to the next level of success—with branding, marketing and strategic planning, as a focus.
She became a contributing author of THE NEW ENTREPRENEURS: BUSINESS VISIONARIES for the 21st CENTURY, an anthology compiled along with other successful entrepreneurs. She also created “Crash Branding” which was a workshop for budding entrepreneurs blending life purpose and values with practical business model applications. After she was elected a member of Leadership America, she also became a regular contributor to The White House Round Table Discussions, as well as to the National Council of Women Business Owners.
When she remarried in 1997, Peggy began another new phase, choosing to focus primarily on home and family life as a wife and stepmother. She also took her own consulting advice by continuing to pursue the things she had always loved—-renovating houses and interior design—with her work, once again, being published in regional and national magazines. Her transformation of a bedroom into a retreat for her stepchildren, appeared in the BETTER HOMES & GARDENS, best-selling book, EASY STYLE. Her affiliation as a Professional Member of the Interior Arrangement and Design Association led to appearances on Home & Garden Television Network, where she has been featured as a design expert since 1999.
In early 2000, she finally answered a long-time spiritual calling to pursue the study of world religions and to challenge and renew her beliefs and faith. She attended The New Seminary—-the oldest interfaith seminary in North America and became an ordained Interfaith Minister in 2005. While she is not professionally affiliated with a particular church or religion, she uses her combined practical and multi-faceted life experience with her seminary training to foster a deeper understanding and compassionate perspective with her own family and with those she counsels and coaches.
She is a certified facilitator for a broad spectrum of human potential resources such as: The DISC; through the Carlson Learning Company, The Passion Test (based on the NY Times Best Seller of the same name), Sage Seminars (Life Direction and Transformation), and The Arno Profile Assessment; through the The National Association of Christian Counselors. She is also a Certified Trainer for The Dynamic Relationship Institute, The Stepfamily Foundation and for The Compassionate Life; a comprehensive training created by Steven Stosny,Ph.D, which was not only featured, but repeated three times on the Oprah Winfrey Show. She is a member of The International Association of Positive Psychology, The Association of Pastoral Care Specialists, and the National Council on Family Relations.
Peggy is also a founding member of The Institute for Interesting People in Dallas, Texas. She is the Success Team Leader for Dallas/Ft. Worth for Barbara Sher; best selling author of books on finding a blend between life purpose/interests and career. She is also an avid proponent of a stress-release process, called The Work, created by Byron Katie. She has studied at the Center for Attitudinal Healing, The Omega Institute, The Dallas Institute for Humanities, The Smart Marriage Conference and the Optimum Health Institute, as well as The Chek Institute for Health and Nutritional Well Being. Peggy is currently creating an online learning center called www.MarriedForBetter.com developing courses in Marriage and Stepfamily Education. She is also launching a blog for women, called, www.ScreamsOfConsciousness.com with plans for it to become a web-based community for women, offering a wide spectrum of resources and opportunities for life enhancing education, inspiration, income, community support, and self-expression.
Her mission is to be a catalyst for others—to love the lives they live.
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